I am fixing my mind on memories.
I am pleased with your actions as well as your mind.
I am pleased with flowers in my hometown.
My favorite flowers are three.
Daphne in spring, hydrangea in summer and spirea in winter,
In autumn, however, flowers are not necessary.
Spirea, when I was a child, blossomed even whiter in the winter whiteness.
The whiter the snow was,
The whiter and brighter the spirea flowers bloomed.
That represented my way of living.
The spirea became my favorite flower at the time of my father’s death.
In spring a year after he died, the spirea had grown up so much that we could not open the door; so many flowers had fallen.
On our way home, my aunt said, “At a house without a head, flowers have bloomed,” which impressed me deeply, in my heart.
Hydrangea are in bloom in the garden of the red brick Kobe library.
I quit a cram school the day after I saw the purple flowers in the rain.
I feel loneliness.
It flows very deep.
It always flows.
I’m sad.
Did I leave you pleasant memories?
I probably didn’t do much but sometimes we laughed, sometimes we felt sad.
I should have said much more, but I didn’t.
I’m sad that I cannot tell you all about it because of my ethics.
What have I been doing during the five-year student movement?
I am sorry.
As we were about to take our first step, it fell apart.
Why did it collapse? It’s not worth asking.
I will start it over.
I shall taste the disappointment as it is.
I wonder what I should do for you in setting out on your trip.
I shall see you again sometime.
I f I can see you in autumn I will give you autumn flowers.
I know Mahayana.
It is Eastern in meaning.
It is my faith for practicing Marxism.
Fujimoto Toshiio.
July 1968 in Ueda